well, i hate to say the same thing over and over again but i’m still not rid of this deep exhaustion. i don’t know what i’ve done this past week to put myself in such state. what’s weird is that i have sufficient sleep hours, which is 8 hours a day. i went to bed at 10:30, sometimes 11, and got up at 6:30/ 7:00 for the past 4 days. but even as i’m typing this, i feel my eyelids getting heavier every second. hopefully weekend will restore me…but i doubt it.
this evening, after i packed my bag and was getting ready to bike home, i was unintentionally swept along to visit the “evening home project”, a child center under my friend’s church ministry. there were about 15-20 kids, age ranged from 3-18 years old. everyday, these children from the slum community comes to do their homework, eat dinner and learn art, languages and bible stories. the work team has been there for only a month.
the home is a narrow white building tucked among a row of dingy karaoke bars. there were at least 10 bars that i saw standing next to each other. when we were having a song/ game session, the booming sound of local music made us all jump and distracted some of our boys. as the night fell, lots of women in spaghetti straps and mini skirts with heavy make-up on were strolling the street, sitting on high stools and drinking.
this place, a dark corner in chiang-mai, a spot where drinkers, smokers and prostitutes feel comfortable being in, is the kind of environment many kids are living in. when i looked at the dim red light in one of the pubs, i wondered how the girls would get out of this cycle that would lead them into a sex trade or trap them with the concept of materialism. and the boys, who knows if they will not turn out like other men i saw…drinking, smoking pots, sneering at the passer-bys…when there’s so much potential in them to become someone God truly created them to be.
a 10-year-old boy was asked to lead his friends in saying grace before meal. he courageously took up the invitation and prayed. a 4-year-old girl, a rebellion at heart, painstakingly followed the dots to form numbers, only in the direction she wanted to go. when i saw her doing that, i knew she’s going to become a great artist in the future. a 6-year-old boy with big brown eyes and huge smile that reveals all the white teeth in his mouth was laughing like he had no care of this world…where it needs such comfort and delight from this kind of guy.
and i breathed thanks to God. amidst the evil-infested community, an aura of hope is shining through this humble “evening home”. i could see God’s love through the tired eyes and weary limbs of all the staff/ volunteers of the home. it’s a tough call to serve the runny noses, the unhappy and stubborn minds, the disturbed and slow learners and the hot-headed bullies.
but God loves them and their life is too precious for us to ignore.