never again will i drag myself so far from God. it hit me hard this morning that i’d been trying to do things on my own without asking for His help. God has been only a concept of a religion to me this past week. and i hated every single moment of it.
“without relationship, nothing in christian world is done.” said dr. john bond, the board chairman of compassion australia i got to meet today.
with no interaction with God, i’m just a soul-less person walking this earth with no purpose.
i was so caught up with my own misery and other stuff that was on my mind that i kinda let my work go a bit. the result was a chaos this morning. my team leader had to print out booklets and brochures for the tour i’m hosting for me. she had to send a “very important” email to another coworker on my behalf to get the information needed for a sponsor visit. she had to keep reminding me about things i should’ve thought ahead, but my mind was so clogged up that there was no “thinking ahead of time” for me today.
yui was so gracious that i felt so shameful. how could i let myself be in such situation where i caused my co-worker to do things i was supposed to do. worse, she was already so busy with her own responsibilities.
i have gone on without God…and now my eyes are unveiled. without Him, i’m hopeless.
how do i go about reconciling with my Father? shame and guilt fill my heart. but i know He isn’t a least bit surprised. He knows it all…and He isn’t disappointed at me. He knew this was gonna happen…and He let me go about on my own so i could learn my lesson.
anyway, i won’t be blogging until sunday as i will be spending time in chiang-rai hosting a tour. my health isn’t so good and my heart isn’t quite ready. but that’s good because now God’s strength can be made perfect in my weaknesses.
9But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
apostle paul, 2 corinthians 12:9-10