recently, i have come to terms with God regarding pain and death. usually, these concepts as parts of my life were unacceptable. i was bitter when i thought about them. i was afraid.
but somehow, God miraculously changed my fear into joy, contentment and trust. it’s so unexpected that i can only assume it has to be Him who has done this. because of my past experience with dad suffering from cancer and passing away, death has haunted me. i had doubts about heaven and God’s supreme control. when i did, i only found nothingness as an answer despite the fact that the Bible clearly says that the end of our life on this earth is just only a beginning of something far greater.
now i’m glad God has allowed me to have joy despite circumstances. whatever will happen, i know that i’m in His will. it’s so strange…this acceptance. but i’m glad i own it now.
just random thought.
anyway, mom is here to visit and get a break from the chaotic bangkok until friday. we have done so much in a day already…or at least that’s how i feel. we had a buffet lunch at sizzlers this afternoon. so so good. i love the variety of food there. my favortie was probably the baked potato. my friend, p.gade, showed me that i could get sour cream, cheese and bacon bits from the salad bar to mix with the baked potato. oh. my. word. then we came home and i did my laundry. we watched a movie called “the taking of pelham 123”. one word – intense. and we got a thai massage. my mom, who doesn’t like other people to touch her body and cannot handle with tickles very well, was having a hard time. at one point, she politely asked the massage person to quickly finish because she couldn’t take it anymore. well, she tried. she was so opposite from me. i loved having people touch me…in a loving way…not harrassing, of course. 🙂 my muscles were so stiff that when the massage person started digging into it, i heard some cracks and groan. i felt like an old lady.
another random stuff on my saturday. have a great weekend!