“could i have done something better?”, the question keeps burning in my heart? my friend introduced me to a guy at church whom he’s been talking about for so long. but the moment we shook hands, i was suddenly a mute girl. i don’t even know his name. he’s a youth leader…and a man with his own style. what i liked about him the most was his acoustic electric ebony guitar and how his fingers created beautiful sound from the instrument. there, i said it. i already took a liking to him when i barely know him or anything about him. what i knew was that he knew me beforehand too, that my friend must’ve told him he would introduce me to him.
this was so depressing. suddenly, i felt a sense of inadequacy. the phrase “not enough” constantly flushed over me. maybe i’m not good looking enough, thin enough or smart enough. satan took the moment of uncertainty into doubt. it made me wonder if i’m ever good enough to experience love.
but as this man shared the scripture from proverbs 3:5-6, God was reminding me that He is in control and that i belong to Him, the King of all kings…the Beauty of it all.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
i don’t have to worry about whether or not he’ll make a move. all i need to do is to trust God and watch His miracle. there could be nothing coming out of this meeting at all. or perhaps vice versa. but i’ll wait and see because i want to be in His will.