something is troubling me.
i could be imagining it but the force of the emotion is so real that i cannot ignore.
the bible says that,
“for we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” (ephesians 6:12)
and i feel it. strongly.
we, at compassion, set this year out to be a year of repentance and brokenness. we realized that unless the ministry starts from ourselves, there is no other way God’s work could get done. we need to be right with the Lord and ourselves first.
the more we’re fixed on Jesus, the fiercer the battle gets. not only i who have experienced this boding presence among the staff, but also some of my friends. there is that deep hurt within our hearts that are not being dealt with.
the phrase “not enough” fills our ears. and we try hard to accomplish as much as we can. we visit projects, go into meetings, discuss plans, painstakingly read every letter, train project staff…and the list goes on. yes, these are our “job descriptions” and we’re required to do such things. but the description of life is much more than what filled 2 pages of the A4 paper.
i, personally, fear of a sense of failure. others around me seem professional and on top of their work. so i’ve pushed myself hard…to be the best as i can. but my motive was wrong. when i couldn’t live up to the world’s standards, i couldn’t help but think, “man, i failed again”. and i tried even harder.
but a verse from one of the beautiful hymns i love, “the solid Rock” goes:
His oath, His covenant, His blood
support me in the whelming flood;
when all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.
it is not for our success but His. i was on my face, praying that God would break our own hearts so that He would be able to fill His within ours. that we would lay everything we hold dear to His feet and let Him become our Hope and Stay. that we would have the zeal and passion not for the ministry we’re involved in but for those around us…families, friends and strangers. that we would come before Him with humbleness, confession and repentance.
then, a breakthrough will come.
the Lord promises to be with us in every step of the way. deuteronomy 3:22 says, “you shall not fear them, for the Lord your God shall fight for you.” thus, we must believe that there is victory in this spiritual warfare. Jesus marched to die on the cross and trampled the head of the serpent when He resurrected. satan can no longer harm us as long as we are in Him.
before end here, i’d like to quote from a devotional passage from max lucado’s book, “and the angels were silent”. dig deep into the Rock of Ages and live…
“those people who keep their faith until the end will be saved.” matt. 24:13
Jesus doesn’t say if you succeed you will be saved…He says,..”if you hang in there until the end…”
in portuguese, a person who has the ability to hang in and not give up has garra, (which) means “claws.” what imagery! a person with garra has claws that burrow into the side of the cliff and keep him from falling. so do the saved. they may get close to the edge; they may even stumble and slide. but they will dig their nails into the rock of God and hang on.
Jesus gives you this assurance. if you hang on, He’ll make sure you get home.