I Never Thought My Heart Could Get This Big

i shouldn’t be eating whole wheat crackers and the goober chocolate-peanut butter spread at this time of the night. it’s a quarter to 11pm and i’m about to head to bed soon. but  i just couldn’t ignore the growl in my stomach. plus, it’s so good. why didn’t i know it before? 🙂  

tomorrow i’m headed to the mountains to visit 2 projects with australian staff. there’ll be 3 of us plus a driver. i’ll have to sleep all alone by myself in a resort room. not quite like the idea. i don’t mind it at home here but being in a foreign place i’d rather have a friend to share the room with. alas, i’ll have to find something to do. on the bright side, i might get really tired and sleep like a baby. :o)  

yesterday was very special. i know i keep saying it every week. but everyday my love for the karen church and karen people  (both at church and in general) has deepened.  there is no reason to why i love them so much. it was like God planted a seed of love there…and when the time came…it just bloomed.  

anyway, as we started singing, tears unexpectedly came. it was as if God was breaking me and filling me up with His presence. it was overwhelming.  all i could do was to sit there and let the tears roll down.  

how i wish it could happen everyday!  

during youth group, i was able to share a message on “the race of faith”. this phrase came right up when i started praying and preparing a week ago. i searched on the internet for some resources and found the sermon from mr. coty pinckney. you can read it here:  http://tcpiii.tripod.com/running.htm   

i used the most part of it but changed some details regarding to his racing experiences to my tae kwon do lessons. before i shared, i told God that i am not good at speaking in public, especially when it comes to sharing His word. if He chose to use me, then He’d need to speak through me. i put myself there at His disposal…i willed myself to be His tool.  

He did use me. i stood there at the podium for 45 minutes, which broke all my records! i’d never stood in front of a big crowd more than 30 minutes at max sharing the Word of God. i usually get too nervous and get thoughts mixed up. getting embarrassed, i’d try to wrap it up as quickly as possible and then shuffle away.  

this time, He gave me words, fed me ideas and kept me stand strong. and i could feel it, His working in me. while i was speaking, i saw the faces of the young people i’ve come to love so hungrily searching and seeking Him, our God. i could feel His fierce passion to make Himself known to us…and i wanted to walk to each person and give them a hug…and tell them how special they are to the Lord…how much He loves them…and how they should always remember the purpose of us being here on earth.  

i never thought my heart could get this big. such love comes from God. i am only His tool.  

john 3:30 says, “He must increase, but i must decrease.”  

it’s my prayer that it’d become true in our lives. that everyday God would be bigger and our lives would be like a magnifier for Him. that people would see Jesus through our words and deeds.  

for this life we live isn’t our own.  

below are some pictures from my church. i think it’s time for pictures after having talked about them for so long. 🙂  

p.s. i will be on the road without the internet for 2 days. see you when i’m back! 🙂  

youth group having lunch at jor dahbu's house


our awesome lunch


two from youth group: ger and dada


our men singing special song


chi, one of my favorite people 🙂


About Mink Gough

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those who love him." 1 Corinthians 2:9 View all posts by Mink Gough

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