the Lord knows our limit. the scripture from 1 corinthians 10:13 that says, “and God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. but when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” is proven true once again.
i had a very long and stressful day at the office today. both my team leader and manager were away. and there were certain decisions to be made. i was so frustrated that i was on the verge of tears throughout the day. i chose not to interact with people because i was afraid that hurtful words would slip past my lips. i put on headphones all day long listening to music while working, not only to help de-stress, but also to avoid my co-workers. but it was not the people who made me so upset. it was because of the unforgiveness in my heart.
Jesus teaches us to forgive others as He has forgiven us. but i tend to forget to forgive and love myself. as the oldest sister, i’ve been taught since i was a baby to sacrifice my toys for my sisters and to share what i had with other neighbors. as i grow up, the habit continues – for others. thus, i’ve become a people-pleaser. when i make mistakes, i punish myself. when others seem disappointed, i blame myself. everything is on me…i take it all.
but i totally missed the whole point. by taking everything on myself, i’m denying Jesus. i’m saying that Christ isn’t sufficient…and i can’t trust Him enough to lay EVERYTHING down at His feet.
i realized that…i haven’t loved myself enough. i learned that…i need to forgive myself as much as i do others. i can’t please everyone. but i can please God. this is what i’d like to focus this weekend. i know that there will be moments i struggle. but with God’s grace, i hope i’ll be able to love and serve others while remembering how precious i am to the Father as well.
anyway, it’s very late…12:33am. i haven’t had any caffeine today…so i’m about to nod my head off. but i just want to mention one last thing – that salad and strawberry milk plus good friends and movie really just did magic.
i look forward to this weekend. i can’t wait to see my love at church. 🙂