this morning, feeling very down, i opened up my devotional book to the new chapter: “hope”. and i thought to myself, “i am so not in the mind to read about hope. i want to sink down into this despair, let tears wash me away in the sea of sorrow and soak into desperation. why does God have to talk about light and hope when i don’t want to hear about it now, for self-pitiness’ sake?!”
but i read on, half-heartedly. the scriptures given were in 1 peter 1:3-9:
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
although convicted, i told God that i needed time to let the truth sink in – that Jesus is the TRUTH. and i needed to cast aside the feelings that don’t last to embrace the unchangeable – that God remains the same. the distance i’m feeling isn’t because He draws back. it is because of my struggle as a human.
christian’s faith is to choose to believe in the Lord no matter how we feel or whatever circumstances we are in.
my friend from church, po dah, said yesterday, “the struggles you are facing now will only help you grow and become more mature. so embrace it.”
to know that someone cares and believes in me fuels me to drive on with hope and faith despite the fact that i am in a desert.