i just finished writing a well thought-out post with 1,000 plus words about survival and fear. there was even some scientific thought in it, which is very unusual for a sentimental person like me to do so. then i clicked “publish”…only to have it ALL lost because of the internet connection error. now i feel more than a failure. i spent 2 hours writing this piece…hoping to at least accomplish something…to have this sense of triumph.
i’m battling with contentment and self-worth. i keep wondering if i am doing the right thing and at the right place. i’m reminded of my friend’s birthday card she gave me this march. she said, “most important thing of all, keep being on your knees.”
despite feeling like a failure, lost and frustrated, God promises peace when we seek His face. preceding Easter this year, i want nothing but to press into His presence. fear and worries may tightly grip at my heart…giving me no space to breathe. but here’s the devotional passage i read this morning:
“when you live to please God and to keep the inner person healthy, you discover that life gradually becomes unified. instead of running here and there, trying to do everything and please everybody, you calmly face the challenges of each day without feeling pulled apart. you find it’s much easier to make decisions because life is centered on one thing: seeking first “the kingdom of God and His righteousness.” (warren w. wiersebe from “the twenty essential qualities”)
let’s kneel down and be with Him.
“even now,” declares the Lord, “return to Me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.” rend your heart and not your garments. return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and He relents from sending calamity. (joel 2:12-13)