solomon used to say that there is time for everything. a time to plant and a time to uproot. a time to love and a time to hate. a time to meet and a time to depart. it is sad that it has to happen this way. but it also gives me hope because, vice versa, there will be a time to meet again.
a dear friend of mine is beginning his new journey elsewhere, a place that is not in my sphere, and with a group of people i do not know. though knowing each other for a short amount of time, we have shared many wonderful memories together. my heart aches as i am thinking that we will go our separate ways.
i guess i would always feel like this if i took the ownership of something or someone…when they are actually a gift from God. when i treat them as “belonging” to me, then i get disappointed that they do not do what i want. but when i treat them as the gift from Above, i can accept the reality with quietness and trust. that is a big difference. everything is His gift for me to steward for a little while.
i do not regret any single moment with my friend. every day was precious. every phone call was meaningful. and every encounter built me up to be a woman i am today. there were times i shed tears because of our worldliness but He always came to our rescue. this friend of mine was not what i expected. but i learned that sometimes God chooses to mature me in the wildest way one cannot imagine.
there are two choices – be sorrowful and wonder why we have to part OR be joyful and give thanks to the Lord for the wonderful gift He has given to me. i chose the latter. because i knew how destructive it could be to sink into sorrow of despair and to pity myself. the world was about me. and i was a victim.
but never be a victim of ourselves. another friend of mine wrote about her workout solution in her blog. although the workout is not related to me parting with friend, the victim mentality is very relevant. and i want to share it with you:
Own your choices. Take responsibility for them. Because, ultimately, it is a matter of taking responsibility. Reasons can be good, excuses can be valid. But we often fall into a victim mentality – thinking that we are victims of and slaves to our circumstances. You are only a victim and slave to your own mind.
Recognize that you are making choices based on reasons. You are not being controlled by your circumstances. You are making choices. If you decide not to exercise because you have a baby under one-year-old, that’s fine, but own it as a choice.
so despite feeling tempted to spend 7 days alone with no phone signal and internet connection and bemoaning over my loss, i decided to accept the reality as it really is, to see things the way God wants me to see and welcome the new change.
there is time to laugh and time to cry. there is time to say goodbye and there will be the time to hold each other’s hand again.