i woke up being so intent on getting laundry done. but it was sprinkling at 8:00 so i thought i would wait until it stopped. two hours later, it doesn’t sprinkle anymore but pours. i don’t stand a chance of doing any washing today. 😦
it’s saturday and still morning. so my head is as empty as space. i wrote this last night and fell asleep right away after finishing it. indulge me a little, then. it’s nothing to do with what i feel right now. it was just my observation. but i’d be glad and thankful if you were a little encouraged by it.
if i could store all my tears this years, i’m sure i would’ve had more than a hundred bottles by now. and i’m not writing this because i am sad. i just took a careful observation over my life and found that i’ve had quite an eventful and emotional year.
i may not be the most sensitive person in the world. but i am a feeler. so when certain people do something or situations happen, they affect me in mighty ways. i, honestly, don’t like crying because it is exhausting. shedding tear is one thing. but sobbing, man, always takes my breath away, literally. but i cry when i say goodbye to my friends; when i see a homeless begging on the street; when baby’s tiny fingers circle around my thumb; when i read, listen to music and watch movies (i shed tears as i watched “stuart little” today); when i watch the sun set behind mountains; when i get homesick and want to be with my family and i cry for the world, those who are lost and can’t find their ways out of the misery. yeah…i cry on a lot of occasions. i won’t even bore you with that. this post is pretty random and irrelevant enough. 🙂
but, from my own experience, crying is not only an expression of emotions but it also brings relief and healing. it helps us to be stronger when we are weak and most vulnerable. sometimes i cry so much i wonder if there will be an end to my sorrow. but like the Bible says, “sorrow may last for a night but joy comes in the morning”. i believe the writer meant that literally. the dawn will eventually come. and God renews our strength and refreshes our mind as we wake up each day.
from june-august, i cried for hours on end because of the heartbreak. i couldn’t stop the flow of tears that ran down my face. i walked, talked, ate and slept with them. i could relate so well to the sorrow of david as he ran for his life into the desert and dwelt in a cave with his army. but then the storm passed. the sun shone again. and i was able to cry for other reasons than sorrow such as the reverence i had for God as i worshipped Him, the happiness to get my life back again and even the fear of losing someone i love dearly. my crying is not so selfish anymore.
there is really no point for me in sharing this. but i want to encourage, if you happen to read this and are trying to hold your tears back, let it come. let it wash over you and cleanse you. tears are good for your soul, believe it or not. at least, you’ll feel better and more humane than trying to hold it in and pretend everything is going well.