Just to Unload

*Disclaimer – this post is purely self-indulgent. It is a rant. You can ignore this altogether; or just be entertained by the jokes in my life. 

This week has been absolutely terrible. If there is any time I feel lonely, it is now.

Same old news. There’s no progress on the visa. This is the last month they told me to expect my case to be processed. I still haven’t heard anything. It has been 2 months since I was last with Joel. Yesterday, I was in a minor car accident that somehow left me shaking. The package I sent to Joel was rejected and returned, all the way from Australia. And i. just. want. my husband. But he isn’t here.

Often I wonder if this is all but a joke. Why did we get married only to end up living separately? What is the purpose of all this? Did we get punished because we rushed into marriage? People told me that I will one day see. And I believe them. I just can’t see anything clearly right now.

I am in a world of pain, bitterness, anger and resentment. Holding on in the midst of the storm has taken a toll on me. And I’m exhausted. I’m tired of waking up every morning thinking this will be the day. Im tired of having to go to sleep without Joel on the other side of the bed. I have been postponing appointments or saying no to permanent commitment here because I thought it could be any day now. Well, jokes on me. I’m still here and not with Joel.

I know you guys are praying for me. For us. Please continue. I am just discouraged, lonely, and at the verge of giving up. I am stuck in this waiting pit. And I’m weary of trying to work out this long distance relationship. I know we aren’t meant to be apart. It’s just hard to be positive right now.


About Mink Gough

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those who love him." 1 Corinthians 2:9 View all posts by Mink Gough

8 responses to “Just to Unload

  • Ros& Greg

    Dear Mink, we are praying for you & Joel believing you will be together soon, in Gods time. Hang in there dear friend, God is right there with you, He makes all things beautiful in His time.
    Proverbs 3:5 & 6

  • vthunda

    Continuing to pray for you and Joel. I know it’s tough; my wife and I were in a similar situation when returning back to Australia from overseas.

  • Kom Kandach

    สู้ๆมิ้งค์ พี่ว่าทุกอย่างอยู่ในแผนการของพระเจ้า ในช่วงเวลาของพระองค์ บางครั้งอาจทำให้เราเจ็บปวดสาหัส แต่เมื่อเราเข้าหาพระเจ้าพระองค์ก็สามารถเยีวยาจิตใจเราได้เสมอ เพราะทรงเป็นแพทย์ผู้ประเสริฐ ขอพระเจ้าเสริมกำลังครับ

  • Ken Wiggers

    Are you in Thailand? Why was the package rejected?

    • Mink Gough

      Yes Ken, I’m in Thailand. The visa hasn’t been rejected. It is being processed. I just got impatient because his visa has taken 12 months already (which is their standard processing time). And my husband and I aren’t together because he had to go to Australia to work. We hope this visa gets approved so we can be together soon. Thanks for asking.

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