Tag Archives: Children

Prayer For My Sponsored Children

never once in my life i wished to be a mom until that day…when i met my two sponsored children and their older brother. their bright brown eyes turned my whole world upside down. their beautiful innocent smile melted my heart. and all i wanted to do was to be with them there. i never thought i would fall in love with someone this much.

so here is my humble tribute…and a gift…to my beloved.


“My child, I love you. I wish I could take a better care of you. To know how to comfort you when you cry, to be more confident in caring for you when you are sick, to be able to feed you every meal when you are hungry, to have the authority to teach you as you journey along this life and to introduce you to our loving Father who will never fail you even though I may depart from you. I long to protect you from harm and shield you from the harshness of injustice. You are gifts from God. I never imagined I could love someone this much…to break for you and to be this willing to intervene so you can live a better life. Yet I know that God put you there for a reason. You are in good hands. The church, the teachers and the project staff are there to protect and look after you. Though I wish I could take you to be my adopted children, I would never ever take you away from your father, the one who loves you most.

Maw Too Nae, Majeetuay, Mana-A… I love you from the deepest part of my heart. Many times in the past, I foolishly said this without understanding much of its meaning, but I do now. I love you so much that my heart breaks to thousand pieces when I see you suffer. But you piece it all back together with your smile and naïve eyes. You give me hope and fuel my passion to serve our Father better so that children like you will be safe from harm and live life to the fullest as God intended for you to do.

Maw Too Nae, when I first saw you, I fell in love with you. I asked you what you want to be and you said that you want to be a soldier because you want to be great among men. My prayer for you is that you will seek to be great in the eye of God and not men. May your desire to be powerful does not corrupt your kind heart but that it will lead you to serve great causes for our Father’s children in the future. May you never abuse the power God will have given you. I pray for a strong male role model in your life so that you will be able to learn from him and imitate him. May Jesus Christ be your first role model. May your kindness and courage bless those around you, especially the needy.

Majeetuay, you are a beloved child of God. This, no one can take away. You are beautiful inside and out. You have a humble spirit and a heart to serve. Your honesty and faithfulness are your strong traits. May you never lose them. Even though others may see them as foolishness, do not trade these characters with anything less. God has given you these gifts to bring transformation in your nation in the future. May the Lord’s face shine upon you and may His favor be your guidance. I do not know how He will use you. But hold on to Him and His word. He will never let you down. You will make a great doctor, my dear.

Mana-A, you are free-spirited as a butterfly, beautiful as a dove and yet bold as a lion. May you fear our Father, who created all the beautiful things in this world. Today and forever. You want to be a teacher. I believe that you will use your creativity in making this world more beautiful through teaching and mentoring your future students. May your determination and strong will bring transformation in this crooked society. I pray that the Lord would guard your steps as you roam freely in His world. May you find freedom and liberation in Jesus Christ. May you be an agent of change.

Dear child, I will do everything I can, in my power, to help, to serve and to love you. Thank you for inspiring me. You make me a better woman.” 


ways to change the world: fast. pray. give.

i have been gone — for a long time. wordpress wouldn’t let me in unless i signed in again.

the reason that brought me back to this space tonight is not about myself. but it is about children. in poverty. after all, i am working in a holistic child development organization.

words. questions. pictures. they can’t describe enough. but that pair of dark eyes still taunts me. hopelessness. hunger. humiliation. even as i close my eyes, i see his — and my stomach drops. my insides turn. and my eyes well up. this little boy of ten has come to a conclusion of life that he can be nothing more than an enslaved quarry worker in the sun-scorched land.

“i want everyone to be happy. i do have desires. but my dreams will never come true so let me not have dreams at all”, said he.

my heart crumbles. faced with the harsh reality of poverty, this indian boy legitimately shoved aside any desires so he wouldn’t be disappointed by the impossible.

yet he deserves better, doesn’t he? to dream. to hope. to live to the fullest.

the story above comes from a scene in  58: the film, a movie based out of dr. scott todd’s “58: fast living – how the church will end extreme poverty”.  the bottom line is, according to dr. todd, “Jesus is decidedly optimistic that His people can end extreme poverty.” we are to not only be hopeful but to expect the eradication of poverty to happen in our lifetime.

pause for a second. what was your reaction when you read that last paragraph? did you just cringe inside? or were you filled with enthusiasm?

i know that for many of us, poverty is an issue a million miles away. we just don’t care. i was one. but the good news is — it’s not because we are indifferent. we just don’t know. but now that i have raised that up, will you consider read this post more slowly and visit this site

you will be changed.

habakkuk 1:5 says,

“Look at the nations and watch—
and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days
that you would not believe,
even if you were told.”

it is okay to doubt but don’t let doubt eat up our passion for the cause God has put into your hearts. we can make a difference now.

on this upcoming january 25, i, along with others from around the globe, will be committed to praying for children and people who are exposed to or suffering from malaria in thailand. this marks the 1st month of the 58: global impact tour, which will take you online to 12 countries and 12 issues. we will fast together, pray together and give together. visit here if you want to know more of this.

i invite you, my friends, to take on this journey with me. we are hopeful because we know that the Lord is faithful. we are not worriers but warriors. thus, we pray and follow our Captain.

“hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing,

the dawn will come. you wait and watch and work: you don’t give up.”

– anne lamot

Die Now and Live

“if by my death many would come live, then i will gladly die ten times over.”

                                                                                                            – shoeshine pastor jungha kim

as i stroll life, there have been moments when i take a low dip and when i soar high. it is never stable. it never leaves me content.

it is always a puzzle to me – this life. God has never given me a straight answer. instead, He brings people into my life and teaches me.

today, i got an email from work suggesting that i should watch this video. (do watch it before you continue to read)

it is about the life of a korean pastor who shines shoes to sponsor seven children from all over the world. what caught my attention was how he died to himself and lived for Christ.

he is neither a man of wealth or health. he is just a servant of God. but when i looked into his eyes, i envied him for his richness. the sparkles in his eyes when he grumbled to God just how he was going to sponsor two more children; his frail voice thick with compassion as he prayed for the children’s future and the victorious smile as he preached the most precious word, “if by my death many would come live, i will gladly die ten times over.”

pastor kim saw the golden treasure in the world drenched with sins and poverty. and he reached out to take it for his own – this gift of death to self.

what he did was not noble in the eye of the world. he polished shoes – a lowly job. but in every hunch of his back, every drop of sweat and every shoe that shines gives hope, opportunity and bright future for his seven children…who would otherwise starve, work ’till their backs broke and wound up in a cycle of wretchedness.

pastor kim died to his pride so his beloved could live. just like Jesus.

how i struggle to live! but minus death, life equals zero.

dying to self is not a choice. like fall leaves dwindling onto the ground only to be trampled, our old bodies are ceasing every minute. it is a decision to make.

death is not the end. it is just the  beginning of something greater.


Phitsanuloke: Day 1

i am in phitsanuloke, a province rich in culture and thick with diversities. the first moment i stepped out of the bus, i felt the warmer breeze touch my face. while waiting for a friend to pick me up at the bus station, a robust lady with dark skin and big brown eyes, who sold me 2 sticks of meatballs, was telling me about the daily happening at her little kiosk and showing me who is who. in that brief 15 minutes, i am sure i got to know most of the important stuff to survive here. 🙂

my friend called and asked me to wait by the front of the bus station. i clumsily walked there with a backpack on my shoulders and a big camera back on one hand. as i started looking around, wondering where she was, a group of 4 delightful girls ran towards my way. i was still a bit disoriented so i wasn’t sure if i should recognize them or not. of course, they were the girls that p.nok, my friend and the project staff, is taking care of.

the girls came to welcome me with such warmth and cheerfulness that i felt like i’d known them for a very long time. they took me to the car and introduced themselves to me, one by one. rachel, a shy 7-year-old girl with eyes that wonder about life; omo and ice, 12-year-old girls who are blooming with curiosity and jeab, a 15-year-old young lady filled with confidence and jokes. each of them has their own story to tell. and i am here to find out from one of them.

i am grateful to be here. i am thankful for the opportunities to be a part of the people’s lives i am about to interview. they are willing to share their stories with me…and i’d like to do my best to communicate them.

please pray that God would give me the wisdom to know what to ask during the interview; the eyes to see the beauty of the people when i take pictures and the heart to understand the struggles they have gone through and the comfort i can give through sharing God’s love with them.

In the Mountains

i’m back. 3 days in the mountains filled with rice, pork, children, lahu people and roosters at 3am. i loved every minute there. somehow children and i bonded very quickly. it was difficult to say goodbye. the project staff and the church committee members were generous and had such servant heart. they served us well even though they are the leaders of the church. i remember a committee member who wore a tattered dark green t-shirt with a hole in the front and a pair of navy blue pants that was too small for his waist. and i thought of how drastically far from the world’s perspective of a leader he was. yet, this man was a true leader, a servant leader.

the church pastor is also a man of authority but he never prided himself. his quiet demeanor was one thing. but his faith, oh! how contagious it was! we learned that he never receives a salary being a pastor in this  small village. he’s been living on the mercy of God and His provision alone. he is a man whose vision is to reach out not only to the people in his community but to the surrounding areas as well. this is the picture of pastor jabo:

on the way to this project, we got lost (a usual habit if i’m on the trip). we took a wrong turn. even though this road could lead us to the village, we would need a 4 wd truck plus chains…which we didn’t have. we were on the wrong track for 40 minutes. some might think that it was a waste of time but if we weren’t lost, these shots would have gone unnoticed:


i learned that lahu is a culture of men and older generation. we could see that through the their daily life and how they interact in the church and project. but they are more open to welcoming the new generation. and i’m sure we will see some passionate kids going up there to become shepherds in the future.

while at the project, i was able to spend time more with myself to refocus. i had no computer with me, which was a blessing. and each day was a total reliance on God. the team and i were busy…oh, yeah..but it was a good kind of busyness. we visited the sponsored children’s houses, spent time playing soccer and jumpropes with boys and girls, talking to the project staff and being blessed by their presence and prayed with the church members.

the project director, nutthan

the project director is a man of very few words. but he’s an action taker. he can carry a 45 kilogram rice sack over his shoulders and walk up a steep hill with no problem balancing himself at all. very strong but very gentle when being around children. i’ve never heard him yell at the kids at all.

making Jesus' crown

matt being attacked by the kids

the butlers visiting their sponsored child, meoifah

talking with church committee and project staff

life in the mountain is simple. people are like families to each other. they care for you and love you just like you are their relatives. when we had our lunch, the last meal at the project, i was pondering on the kindness of the staff and how they took care of us. as i was doing that, i had to swallow a huge lump of gratitude in my throat. i was overwhelmed by their kindness…and i almost cried…again.

i want to be like these people, so ready to serve and love. i know life tends to get complexed at times. i’m sure these people go through the same difficulty. but what they had shown me during the past 3 days was a clear reflection of Christ’s love and humbleness. their willingness to be God’s tools despite the circumstances and hardship was inspiring. there were over a hundred children these guys had to take care of but they did it joyfully and wholeheartedly.

when we had to leave the village, a big group of children we’d hung out over the weekend and the church members came to see us off at the guesthouse. there were lots of handshakes and saying goodbye. we took a group shot together. then it was time to hop on the trucks. some girls would never leave until they saw that we were off for good. they stood next to our car windows and waved goodbye. when the wheels were rolling, they ran after us almost to the entrance of the village. it was difficult to hold back tears.


p.s. more photos will be uploaded on facebook…later this week.


i feel like vomiting. i’ve been a slacker for almost a month. i have a 40-page paper about high vulnerable children strategy i need to translate into thai. let me tell you, it’s not a normal everyday language. ‘~’ and that i need to finish it in 2 weeks. talk about “miracle”.

anyway, this past week, i’ve been listening to a song by third day called “born in bethlehem” and it reminded me how much i love christmas and my friend, kristin barr, who shared this album with me. i’ve cried over this song for too many times. the 1st time i heard this was at the school’s christmas program where i was teaching. the 1st grade students were performing a beautiful dance along with this song. something about children worshipping Jesus always gets to me. it seems like they don’t have to rationalize who God is. they just accept and love Him without doubt. such pure faith. 🙂

every single word in this lyrics is a holy utterance to God and reflects the heart of the composer(s). so i want to share with you the song, if you haven’t known it already. i think the opening with the stringed instrument sounds a little off but may be it was intended?  

Baby Jesus, born in a stable, humble Savior’s birth.
You left your throne in Heaven above, to live here on the Earth.

Baby Jesus, lying in a manger, crying for the world.
The Angels told the Shepherds of the Good News for us all.

Halleluiah, the King is here, given for all men.
For today the Holy Son of God, is born in Bethlehem.

Come now Sinners and you Saints, all peasants and all Kings.
And bow before the Earth’s Redeemer, let all voices sing.

Halleluiah, the King is here, given for all men.
For today the Holy Son of God, is born in Bethlehem.

Halleluiah, the King is here, given for all men.
For today the Holy Son of God, is born in Bethlehem.

Baby Jesus, do you know you’ll die for all our sins?
Don’t be afraid, for in 3 days, you will rise again. Cause you will rise again.

Halleluiah, the King is here, given for all men.
For today the Holy Son of God, is born in Bethlehem.

Halleluiah, the King is here, given for all men.
For today the Holy Son of God, is born in Bethlehem.

For today the Holy Son of God, is born in Bethlehem.

Born in Bethlehem.

my life..hmm..i am very busy, just like the rest of compassion staff. 🙂 there’s so much to do at the end of the fiscal year and so much to look forward to in the next one. our tour team is looking at two trips in both july and august right now. we hope to get things done in timely manner and that the tours will turn out to be not only a blessing but something thought-provoking and faith-challenging stuff for the sponsors. time to get on the road again! hooray!

on another note, i was just on the phone with my mom. our family is in a transition moment. mom and my sisters will have to move out of our  current house in a month or two. and we are quite undecided about what to do next. we want to buy a house but aren’t sure if we’re ready for another debt. mom is thinking about moving/ planning to come to chiangmai. both of my sisters are enjoying their work in bangkok. a big decision is to be made. a huge change we need to be prepared for.

that is why knowing that the Lord is in control is so vital for us. at times like this, when we are so weighed down by pressure from banks, our landlord and those who keep asking questions about our decision, we tend to get frustrated. But i learned not to let frustration get in the way of the Lord. ecclesiastes 8:6 says, “for there is a time and a way for everything,…” these words are  overflowing cool water running down my parched throat.

as many people have told me, “God’s timing is perfect and you don’t wanna spoil the fruit until it’s ripe.”

so here i am, Lord, waiting on You.