Happy Moments

starbucks is always a good dose of comfort. it’s chilling atmostphere; the lighting that sets your mood; private corners to enjoy yourselves; its coffee aroma and the jazziness ofthe place…the combination of these makes me REALLY happy today. i’m having a tall cup of caramel mocchiato and an apple-walnut muffin. heaven on earth. mmm. 🙂

i was a grumpy lady yesterday because i was way too tired from sitting in a truck for 7 hours with a few stops. the total traveling time from sunday and monday was about 13 hours. i was so pooped and got easily irritated. the driver was my victim. i barely spoke anything to him during the ride back and didn’t even properly say “thank you” to him. how gracious and christian i was. ‘~’

so this morning, i called in sick because i needed a quiet rest and non-rushing day. it’s been nice. and now i feel like i’m loving my life again. i think sometimes i tend to get too hard on myself. i learned that i need to let things i can’t control go, enjoy the present and break the rules. i don’t want to end up being a nun. i was actually given the “nun” title back in my university years because i would rush out of my class and go straight to church. i missed out on a lot of fun times with my friends. but on the bright side, i also had many wonderful memories with peeps at church too.

so i’d been thinking – what makes you love your life? after a long hard day at work or school, what are the things you do that lift the weight out of your shoulders? what are those things that fill your moments with smile, laughter, contentment and joy?

mine are:

– watching private practice

– listening to favorite songs

– sweeping and mopping my room

– air conditioner

– dreaming about future (actually that doesn’t give me much contentment :))

– munching soft cookies and eating spaghetti bolognese

– drinking a cup of half frozen apple juice

– watching rainstorms and listening to the rain splashing outside my balcony

– discovering a whole volume of the chronicles of narnia with only 595 baht

– sneaking a little encouraging note to my friends to cheer them up

what is your happy moment? feel free to share the joy and make us all smile.

Count the Blessings

a lot of times a day goes by without much excitement. today was one of those days. i was broke out of my sweet dream at 6:30 by a phone call from a sponsor who told me that her flight got cancelled and the visit had to be postponed. that sure woke me up. but eventually everything worked out. that was probably the only thing that came near “excitement” today.

BUT there has never been a day that isn’t an adventure, right? when you walk with God, you always have stories to tell with your family or friends over dinner table. sometimes you cry and some other times you laugh over those experiences. so this evening, i am going to count the blessings God has poured over me since the weekend:

1) internet at home. now i don’t have to sit in a room full of boys playing online games or paying 80 baht at a coffee shop to use the free wi-fi

2) manna’s phone call and the talk we had

3) the walk in the sun at 1:30 in the afternoon. it was blazing hot. but i was thankful for a glass of lime shake. ah, so refreshing. and also fried rice with pork and omelet as dinner.

4) mom’s phone call and the comfort she brought with her voice

5) sweet memories from the past

6) “her mother’s hope” by francine rivers and “prayer” by philip yancey

7) God’s provision. i basically have a very tight budget towards the end of the month but He has proved Himself again faithful. this morning, my friend called me at 7:30 offering me a ride to the office. at lunch, the whole department went out for lunch together and we didn’t have to pay anything. in the evening, another friend of mine picked me up by the street and dropped me off at a place so close to my apartment that i didn’t have to pay for the truck ride at all. God is GOOD.

8 ) the relationship between me and my “friends” at work, especially the ones in my department.

9) the smell of the rain and the earth

10) the rumbling thunder and dark clouds although it hasn’t poured yet

11) my friends’ e-mails of encouragement

12) hope for the future and assurance that God has everything in control

13) dreams

14) this blog space, a place where i can be myself and write whatever i want without having to worry if i’ll get rejected by a publisher

15) the word of God that is so refreshing and so enlightening. every time i read it, it never feels or looks or tastes the same.

16) Jesus’ everlasting love that is stronger than a fortress and fiercer than the firecest army on earth. He is the comparative form of the superlative adjectives – the more than the most of everything.

17) the Holy Spirit’s guidance…the wisdom He bestows…the protection He provides when i fall into temptation…and the forever-welcoming arms to receive me when i run home.

18) and to top it all up, the jazz music i’m listening to right now while listening to the splash of rain outside my window. somehow the combination of jazz and rain delight my heart.

19) oh, and last one, a cup of plain milk with chocolate nesquick powder…one word “mmm” =D

there, that’s God’s blessings for me. what about you? do you have a list? let’s count His blessings together! 🙂

Dreams and Patience

restlessness and wonder…am i making any difference? i want a life of adventures but now everything seems so placid and so opposite to my agitated mind.

i started reading francine rivers’ novel “her mother’s hope” today. a story of marta, a girl full of ambition and dream, who was constantly oppressed by her drunk father. he kept telling her that she wasn’t worthy of being anything except someone’s servant despite her outstanding academic intelligence and obvious life skills. her mother, a quiet but God-fearing woman, though didn’t stand up against her husband, encouraged marta to pursue her dreams. she said to her white-hot daughter, “you must search out the usefulness in every situation.”

marta, at age 12, had to drop out of school  and was sent to work with different families in their rural swiss neighborhood. she worked early at dawn at a bakery where she learned how to bake. late morning, she came home to finish her chores and brought breakfast to her mama and younger sister. after lunch, she was at the clinic helping dr. zimmer. late afternoon, twice a week, she had to work at her closest friend’s hotel. and adding up to her tight schedule, her papa found some time for her to work in a bee farm. what was the use of all these? the money she earned went right in to her father’s pocket, who drowned it all in beer. and not a single franc left for their family.

but marta diligently learned from every job she laid her hands on. though sometimes discouragement overpowered her hope. in one of her conversations with her mother, she asked:

“what’s the use of dreaming?” 

“perhaps God put the dream in your head.”

“why?”

“to teach you patience.” 

i confess that i’m more like marta than her mother right now. i’m clueless about what His plans are for me. i’m just tumbling after Him day after day. i have many dreams for myself and my family such as backpacking around europe, going on a road-trip in america, living in a ranch, learning how to ride a horse, building our own home for mom and sisters, marrying to a God-loving cowboy, publishing my book(s) and pursuing master degree in nursing, to name a few. but these dreams are more like bubbles to me for now. and patience is probably the last thing i want to think about.

but God prevails. that’s what i’ve learnt so far after 8 years of being in a relationship with Him. although i must admit that i may be jealous of my friends who are living their lives out there, be it england, italy, germany, france, australia or united states, i have to squeeze out all anxiety and wrap my mind around God’s heart and purpose. because i know that “God will use everything to His good purpose if you love and trust Him.” another quote from marta’s mama…just like romans 8:28 states,

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

so another resolution of mine is to learn as much as i can from what i do everyday with diligence and hope.

“love hard. live strong.” – haley marie bodine

p.s. i have only read the first 4 chapters of the book. so the “marta” i mentioned above will not be the same as the story unfolds. but how she’ll turn out, well…you will either have to read the book yourself or wait ’till i finish it. 😉